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Article in "Golos Armenii" newspaper about the Alimony Division of JACES  2009-04-01 09:48

Kinsfolk. Son as a vengeful weapon.

"When I first saw my future mother-in-law, I changed my mind to marry her daughter. Then I was pursuaded since the girl had not eaten a week and finally I have made up my mind to marry the daughter of a sorceress",  Gagik Karapetyan tells about the events that took place 20 years ago. Now he calls his former mother-in-law not otherwise than sorceress.  He apparently has grounds for that.

Gagik got married in the late 1987s, and had three children - two daughters and a boy. He still loves his children very much and especially his 10-year old son. But he babied him only the first six years. He got divorced. The former wife has abjudged from him the appartment in Yerevan in Abovyan street.  Moreover, as the interlocutor mentions, the litigation has been accompanied by several allegations. «Rouben Nersisyan, the judge of first instance of Kentron and Nork-Marash communities did not have enough grounds to make a decision on the sale of the appartment belonging to my elderly parents. The cadastre has increased, without any grounds, the number of people registered in the apartment up to five. "The judge did not hold a hearing at all, he just abandoned it", tells Gagik. He thinks that all these allegations became possible because of the patronage of the lawyer-lover of his ex-wife, which has certain contacts. Concurrently, complaints against Gagik were permanently filed to the police.  The police were not also particularly zealous about undertaking measures; they nearly became friends with Gagik, they treated formally each consecutive complaint filed against him and they called him, telling: "Gagik, dear, there is another complaint against you".

But it is not a matter of the apartment. Gagik is in anguish at his children, who hate him. "We were very close with my son for six years; now he swears at me. It is what his step-father taught him. He could do such nasty things: teach a child to swear; he left three children in his former family. Little Albert was getting on with my parents quite well, but now he treats them in a way not permissible for treating elders, let alone his own grandparents," angrily tells Gagik. 

The mother is opposing the contact of children with their father. The members of the family indispose the children against their father. At his children’s birthdays, Gagik gives mobile phones, as presents, with already inserted cards for being in contact with them. However, those phones have been grabbed from them. And children in their turn are not disposed at communicating with their parent. Once Gagik was ready to commit an awful act. "I got very furious; drank 100 grams, took a knife and went to get over with those monsters for setting my children free. But I was stopped by the Bible I suddenly came across with and I started reading it. On the following day I received a call: it was an invitation to the new job. It saved me," tells Gagik. He sings at restaurants, he earns quite well since he puts all what he has gone through, all his feelings in his songs, writes verses. 

The ex-wife refused to comply with the court decision on everyday meetings of the father with the son. Compulsory enforcers had to take over the case. Aram Khachatryan, the chief compulsory enforcement officer of the Alimony Division of the Judicial Acts Compulsory Enforcement Service, mentions that he has never encountered such complicated case as this one. "In my presence the child is somewhat reserved, though, to tell the truth, I cannot understand such an overt hatred to his father - to Gagik whom I already know well. Albert all the time insists that his father will not succeed in squaring him with money or good treatment. Meanwhile his father was kneeling to him. I have encountered various things while practicing my profession, though I can not indifferently observe this scene. The child is strained and agitated throughout the entire meeting, and insists to his father that he hates him, and miscalls him. It is hard to understand the reason," mentions A. Khachatryan. 

The mother should not be present at the meetings of the child with his father, and no one else but the Judicial Acts Compulsory Enforcement Service officer should be present there. But right immediately before each meeting the mother or the grandmother provoke conflicts, due to that, with the enforcement officer or Gagik. All that negatively affects the child. The practice of a compulsory enforcer proves that at the normal response of a father, children are tuned to positive relations with him after several forced meetings. But this time it is not the case since the inward of the child is mutilated and depressed, thinks the compulsory enforcer who, in fact, was exhausted himself by the hysteric behaviour of the mother of the child. 

Gagik hopes that when the child becomes older he would realise himself everything and would acknowledge him. Though the ex-wife and her mother are permanently straining the relations with the children, presenting everything in such a way as if the mother and the grandmother have to force the father to pay the alimony. Though Gagik claims that he needs nothing - neither a family, nor his lost apartment: the only thing he wants is from time to time to see his son.

"This child has been seriously manipulated. He speaks as an adult, that is to say he repeats everything the members of his family infixed in his mind," tells Karine Antonyan, the Chairperson of the Fund for Child Protection who is well informed of this story. I had an impression that all the members of the family are intentionally instilling in the child hatred towards his father. It may seriously derange the child. We encountered many challenging situations, but this one is very complicated. I have never seen in any child such an aggression and hatred towards his father. The mother wants to revenge the ex-husband through the child, but thereby she cripples her son. She miseducates the child; this is how potential criminals are educated full of aggression and hatred. It is already a cognizable case. The psychiatrist asserts that Gagik as well is not always reserved in communicating with the mother of his children.  

To tell the truth, people which are aware of this situation, whom it is difficult to blame in preconception, express stable subjective opinion for the ex-wife of Gagik and her relatives. In such a situation it is hard for the father to demonstrate restraint. Because of these permanent stressful situations, Gagik, who already has second group disability, has been diagnosed with diabetes: a disease no one of his relatives has had. In this situation restraint is certainly reasonable, though very hard to achieve.

"Golos Armenii", 28 March 2009

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